My contribution to the “Nigerian Funds Forwarding” scam

Not wasting a lot of space on the front page, click below to read more – I think it’s funny!

Message Received today:
Dear Friend,

REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP IN RESPECT OF THE TRANSFER OF $25,500,000.00(TWENTY-FIVE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED AMERICAN DOLLARS)INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

I, on behalf of my other colleagues from different Federal Government of Nigeria owned parastatals decided to solicit your assistance as regards the transfer of the above stated amount into your bank account. This fund arose from the overinvoiced of various contracts awarded in my parastatal to certain foreign contractors sometime ago.
We as holders of sensitive positions in our various parastatal, were
mandated by the federal government to scrutinise all payments made to foreign contractors, and discovered that some of the contracts they executed were grossly over invoiced, either by omission or commission. Also, we discovered that the sum of $33,000,000.00(thirty three million American dollars only) was lying in a suspense account, although the foreign contractors were fully paid their entitlements after executing the said contracts. We all agreed that the over-invoiced amount be transferred into a bank account provided by a foreign partner, as the code of conduct of federal civil service does not allow us to operate foreign accounts.
However, we have suceeded in transferring some of the monies, precisely US$7.5(Seven million five Hundred American Dollars) into a foreign account in Morocco (North Africa), but unfortunately the provider of the account has severed all forms of communication with us as he has refused to adhere to our earlier mutual agreement, insisting tha the total amount be paid into his nominated bank account before disbursement will take effect.
We are therefore seeking your assistance based on the balance amount US$25.5M which can be speedily processed and fullyremitted into your nominated bank account. On successful remittance of the funds into your account, you will be compensated with 20% of the amount for your assistance and services.
This transaction is closely knitted and in view of our sensitive
positions we cannot afford a slip. I assure you that this transaction is 100% risk free.We will avail you with our identities as regards our respective office when relationship is fully established and smooth operation commences.
I am at your disposition to entertain any questions from you in respect of this transaction, so, contact me immediately through the above email address for further information on the requirements and procedure.
Please note that this is a DEAL and confidentiality is of very great
importance for security reasons.
Please treat with strict confidenlity and utmost urgency.

Dr. Peter Olis.

My Reply:

Peter,

In order to maintain our confidentiality here, I must insist that you forward me a “good faith” payment of no less than $500,000, US. You may do so using Paypal’s service (http://www.paypal.com) with this address as the recipient. Once that amount has been transferred to Paypal, I will in turn transfer it twice, to personal bank accounts set up specifically to manage this transaction, and finally, render it in cash that I can fill a mattress with; the intent being to sate my strong desire to sleep on a bed of cash. If you can make this happen, I’d be happy to help you move your illicit funds around – but be warned, as I am a law-abiding US Citizen, I would be obliged to involve the appropriate law-enforcement officials at the first indication of wrong doing.

Should such payment not be made within the next 24 hours, I will assume you are every bit the fraud you appear to be, and discontinue any further recourse.

By the way, as I am broke and out of work, if you’re trying to scam me (as I know you are), you’ve picked a pretty shitty target.

– L’ano Itar

PS. Are you remotely aware of how (in)famous the “Nigerian Scam” email is? Wouldn’t it behoove you to pick another country from which to make up these stories about? Meh.