The fans write letters!

As promised, this one from the “fans of reality tv” file:

This one from one “Breanna (aka Rihanna) Riles“, who has obviously worked long and hard at her studies to write the following:

“hello my name is breanna and u may not know me but im from bessemer alabama u may not have heard of it cause its a small town im writeing you because i want you to know how great you show is i mean i love the bad girls club hell lol i sometime be talking to myself acting like im in the bad girls club i wouold really love to meet you hopefully if my prayers come true by the way im not a stucker but i really really want join your show i think i can bring it some of that down south feeling lol i just wanted you to know you have a great show and it can changes someone like me. it was nice writing you and pray that i could meet you someday you have a nice day”

Such literary talent!  I, on the other hand, was apparently having a bad day.  Here’s my response:

If you think some stupid fucking “reality” tv show is mean, wait till you get an email from a guy who went out of his way to ensure morons like you don’t write him messages about some stupid fucking “reality” tv show.
Seriously.  Only a sub-functional illiterate could breeze past my carefully placed warnings that I am not a hollyweird producer victimizing young morons like yourself for the entertainment of the simple minded, and insist on sending a message like yours to me anyway.
If your prayers are in fact to join in on that action, I suggest you first find a new religion.
In fact, go now, run to your mother and beg her forgiveness for turning out to be such a loser.
Then go back to school, learn a skillset that will get you somewhere in life, and forget you ever tried to sacrifice whatever decency and self-respect you might have had for a few dollars.
DO NOT REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE, OR I WILL BROADCAST YOUR IGNORANCE TO THE WORLD.  //I’m keeping my promise!  -jm//
P.S.  Proper capitalization, punctuation, and well-formed sentences will take you far in life.  Start your quest for an education with English 101.
Apparently I hit a nerve.  Young Ms. Breanna/Rihanna/Confused came back with this clever retort:
look here you dick face and you look well i dont give a dame put it so the world could see cause i dont give a fuck and if u thought the last email i sent you was stupied and dum well you dam sure gone think this is and guess what i dont give a fuck cause what you can do is kiss my fat ass and make sure you put this on there to bitch while you at it now dont you write me back and with that said you have yourself a  a nice day
Ahh, the innocence of youth.  How sweet.