I don’t produce shows for MTV. I can’t STAND so-called reality television. I firmly believe the whole genre has lowered society’s collective IQ by several points.
Unfortunately for me, a man who shares my name does produce shows for MTV and has apparently done quite well for himself. This would not be a concern, except his chosen line of work attracts the dregs to occupy his shadow in hopes of being noticed. To that end, they wander the internet in search of the means to contact him. I try to let them know I’m not him, and that writing messages to me will never reach him… but they’re apparently unwilling, or unable to read my words of caution.
Oh well, I warned them.
The following is a sample of some recent missives received via my contact page. They serve to exemplify my opinion of the type of person interested in such things.
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From:
Serina (deleted)
Message:
You should make a show where bad girl and real world all get to throw
down who ever has problems with each other gets to have three five min
rounds together. theres soo many fights i want to see. U can barrow
the host of bully beat down it would be best.
—
Dear Serina: Hasn’t bum fighting been done?
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From:
keyona (deleted)
I’m a bad girl because despite the pain and suffering the beatings
heart aches being homeless child being took once upon of time and my
babydaddys parents not letting me see her I was still able to graduate
high school get my daughter back move away from the abusive
relationship etc. I hold my own never afriad to ask for advice the
truth. I know ive never knew what it was like to have the best at all.
I grew up on perry hill the bottom projects and still not once carry
myself as a hoe. I Can give you a story. Despite all im funny outgoing
giving respectful to my elders and can be mad at you and still talk to
you. I dont argue at all we gone fight if necessary. Ill try and walk
away first. Pick me for your show and ill do it all what ever need a
jumpstart.
—
Dear keyona: Walk away. Please.
===
From:
Eddie (deleted)
Message:
Jonathan,
My name is Eddie (deleted), and i have the best idea Ever for the bad
girls club! i knoe this club is for girls, but we should do a twist
for your upcoming season. I think this will help your ratings as well!
Not only the house is full of bad girls, but i think we need a Bad Gay
guy , who knows how to drive these ladies crazy. They will Think they
are waiting for their final roomate, but really i would pop out ”
Bitches im here” . im a very outgoing guy , im about to be 21 , puerto
rican italian and i know how to have a good time! Wheather its on
stage at the clubs, stealing the girls boyfriends (because thats what
i do best, they dont call me K.O for a reason)Im from New york, but
currently stay in Ohio. Its a thought and i would love to be part of
this journey!
—
Dear Eddie: Already done, it was called “Three’s Company”, now tell your rude friends to find a reason to call you names!
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From:
Celeste
Message:
hi jon i am celeste (deleted) 19 yrs old and am the youngest of 7 girls
and i notice how you was the creator of BGC and i was thinking you
should try a sister episode we are under 30 and fun we know a few
celebrities and we i know we would entertain alot of ppl for you we
are at hard times right now but we know how to have fun we are very
sexy and yes we all have our problems please email me back and we can
talk more i know we can work something out thanks for your time!
—
Dear Celeste: AAAAAAGGHHHHHH, my eyes! Seriously, I ran out of breath just trying to read that.
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Addendum: While looking up links to be helpful, I came across the page these maroons must have thought they were on. The similarities between their contact page and mine are uncanny, to be sure. How could I be so callous?