So today I heard a news piece on the radio about the commander of US and NATO troops in Afghanistan flying in to a village to personally apologize to some perfectly innocent Afghani citizens who happened to get blown to bits while harboring taliban shitheads simply trying to hold a wedding party.  Apparently there was a group of American soldiers/sailors/airmen/Marines taking fire from said shitheads afghani citizens, so an airstrike was called in on the building the gunfire was coming from.  Now, the aforementioned shitheads afghanis had, as shitheads are wont to do, were hanging out with their buds taken the wedding party hostage and wouldn’t let them leave.  So the airstrike came, the shitheads and the fine upstanding citizens were all killed.

And somehow this is all our fault.

Well, here’s my idea of how that apology should go:

I’m sorry your fathers, sons, and brothers are completely insane animals who love death.  I’m sorry your fathers, sons, and brothers care nothing about your safety.  I’m sorry your fathers, sons, and brothers are ready, willing, and eager to use you as human shields.  I’m sorry your fathers, sons, and brothers suffer from a degenerate religion illness that makes them believe that you all will go on to heaven to live like proverbial pigs in slop if they only cause their and your deaths while serving their degenerate religious masters.  I’m sorry your fathers, sons, and brothers behave in ways that force good men to put them down like the rabid animals that they are, and that you sometimes get caught in the line of fire.  I have no idea how long it will take you to realize that only you can end this cycle, and I’m sorry good people have to put their lives on the line in an effort to get that message through your thick, simple skulls.  I’m sorry for your miserable existence.  And I’m sorry that when we leave, your people will still be dying every day, but you’ll no longer have any hope of a better life.

Anything less would be an insult.